A Lion in US — Joke of the day

In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day. The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.

The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.

On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast. The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas. Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.

The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.

The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, ‘Don’t you know I am the lion… king of the Jungle…, what’s wrong with your management?, what nonsense is this? Why are you delivering bananas to me?’

The delivery boy politely said, ‘Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but ..did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey’s visa!!!

Moral: Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere!!!

 

Original vs New

Check out new version of the quote “If you love someone…” from a different perception

ORIGINAL QUOTE

If you love someone,
Set him free…
If he comes back, he’s yours,
If he doesn’t, he never was….

THE NEW VERSIONS…. .

Pessimist:
If you love someone,
Set him free…
If he ever comes back, he’s yours,
If he doesn’t, as expected, he never was.

Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set him free…
Don’t worry, he will come back.

Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set him free…
If he ever comes back, ask him why.

Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set him free…
If he doesn’t come back within some time
forget him.

Patient:
If you love someone,
Set him free…
If he doesn’t come back, continue to wait.
until he comes back…

Playful:
If you love someone,
Set him free …
*I if he comes back,
and if you love him still,
set him free again, repeat*

Animal-Rights Activist:
If you love someone,
Set him free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyers:
If you love someone,
Set him free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second
Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act
clearly states that…

Bill Gates :
If you love someone,
Set him free,
If he comes back,
I think we can charge him for re-installation fees
but tell him that he’s also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist :
If you love someone,
Set him free,
He’ll evolve.

Statisticians :
If you love someone,
Set him free,
If he loves you,
the probability of him coming back is high
If he doesn’t, your relation was improbable anyway.

Schwarzenegger’ s fans:
If you love someone,
Set him free,
HE’LL BE BACK!

Over possessive person:
If you love e someone
don’t set him free.

HR specialist:
If you love someone
set him free by
Offering him VRS and other benefits
Then outsource him!!!

 

Caller Vs Operator Conversation….

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Ree.

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

Operator: That’s what I said. I’m Saw Ree

 

The Exam…

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.

During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

“Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour “. “But yaar “, he says, “I am rechecking my answers and am not able to tally them with what I wrote.”