December 2008


A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said “I don’t think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat.”

“Is the man of the house home?”, they asked.

“No”, she replied. “He’s out.”

“Then we cannot come in”, they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

“Go tell them I am home and invite them in!”

The woman went out and invited the men in”

“We do not go into a House together,” they replied.

“Why is that?” she asked.

One of the old men explained: “His name is Wealth,” he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, “He is Success, and I am Love.” Then he added, “Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home.”

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. “How nice!!”, he said. “Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!”

His wife disagreed. “My dear, why don’t we invite Success?”

Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: “Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!”

“Let us heed our daughter-in-law’s advice,” said the husband to his wife.

“Go out and invite Love to be our guest.”

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, “Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest.”

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: “I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?”

The old men replied together: “If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would’ve stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!”

MY WISH FOR All OF YOU…

-Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy.

-Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it.

-Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength.

-Where there is fear, I wish you love, and courage.

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

  • A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
  • A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

  • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
  • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
  • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  • A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

  • To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
  • To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot
more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
  • A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

  • A woman has the last word in any argument.
  • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Now, the final & funniest equation:

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy

Donkey = eat + sleep

Hence, Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

if, Human – enjoy = Donkey + work

in other words,

 

Human that don’t know enjoy = donkey that work

Men = eat + sleep + earn money

Donkeys = eat + sleep

Hence, Men = Donkeys + earn money

if Men – earn money = Donkeys

in other words,

Men that don’t earn money = Donkeys

Women = eat + sleep + spend

Donkeys = eat + sleep

Hence, Women = Donkeys + spend

if, Women – spend = Donkeys

In other words,

Women that don’t spend = Donkeys

Summary:

Men earn money not to let women become donkeys!

Women spend not to let men become donkeys!

Men + Women = 2 Donkeys

 

Wish all the donkeys happy forever.

Hi friends, 

Enough of stories, now time to enjoy some Joke… 

DEATHS THAT MADE EVEN TOP DOCTORS WONDER…

This case happened in a hospital’s Intensive care ward where Patients always died in the same bed and on all Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves

what the terrible phenomenon was all about ………………

Just when the clock struck 11…

and then……

 

 

 
then…..

 

 

 

 
then……..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and Unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner

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