September 2007


Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet – Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.

During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

“Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour “. “But yaar “, he says, “I am rechecking my answers and am not able to tally them with what I wrote.”

Yeh Daulat bhi lelo… from Jagjit Singh (Revised version for college days)

Yeh Degree bhi lelo, Yeh Naukri bhi lelo,
Bhale mujhse lelo who US ka Visa,
Magar mujhko lauta do college ka canteen,
Who TeeKha Samosaa, Who thanda saaa paani,
Who Teekha Samosa, Who thanda saaa paani

 

Who College ki sabse – purani nishaanee,
Who chai vaalaa jisko – saare kehte the…jaani,
Who jaani ke hathon – ki ‘cutting’ chai meethi,
Who chup-kese journal – mein Jo bheji thi chitthi,
Who padhte hi chitthi – tha uska bhadakna,
Who chehre ki laali, who aankhon kaa gussaa
Who teekha samosa, who thanda saaa paani..

 

Kadi dhoop mein – apni room se nikalnaa,
Who project ki Khatir – tha Dar Dar bhataknaa ,
Who lecture mein doston – ki proxy lagaanaa,
Who sir ko chidana, aeroplane udaanaa,
Who submission ki raton – ko jagna jagaanaa,
Who vivas ke kisse, who pracs ki kahani….
Who teekha samosa, who thanda saaa paani.

 

Who dena Bimaari – ka har time bahana,
Who doosron ka assignment – ko apnaa banana,
Who seminar ke din – pairon ka chat-patanaa,
Who workshop mein din bhar – pasinaa bahanaa,
Who slogans banana – aur Gym me rakhadna,
Phir Exam ke din ko – tha bechain hona,
Who teekha samosa, who thanda s AAA paani..

 

College ki thi – who lambi is raatein,
Who doston se tapre pe – pyaari is Baatein;
Who gathering ke din ka Jo ladnaa Jhagadnaa;
Who kudiyon ka yuhin – hamesha akadnaa;
Bhulaaye nahin bhool sakta hai koi
Who Rahul ki masti, Who college ki yaaden,
Who baatein sama, who guzara jamana
Who teekha samosa, Who thanda saaa paani..
Who teekha samosa, Who thanda saaa paani…

A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it for the first time, and vices floated around and were bored, not knowing what to do. One day, all the vices and virtues were gathered together and were more bored than ever. Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea: “Let’s play hide and seek!” All of them liked the idea and immediately Madness shouted: “I want to count, I want to count!” And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed. Madness leaned against a tree and started to count: “One, two, three…” As Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding.

Tenderness hung itself on the horn of the moon…
Treason hid in a pile of garbage…
Fondness curled up between the clouds…and
Passion went to the centre of the earth….
Lie said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake… whilst
Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking.
And Madness continued to count: …. “seventy nine, eighty, eighty one…”

By this time, all the vices and virtues were already hidden – except Love. For undecided as Love is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love.

Madness: “…ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven…” Just when Madness got to one hundred………Love jumped into a rose bush where he hid. And Madness turned around and shouted: “I’m coming, I’m coming!”

As Madness turned around, Laziness was the first to be found, because Laziness had no energy to hide. Then he spotted Tenderness in the horn of the moon, Lie at the bottom of the lake and Passion at the centre of the earth. One by one, Madness found them all – except Love. Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love. Envious of Love, Envy whispered to Madness: “You only need to find Love and Love is hiding in the rose bush.” Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the rosebush. Madness stabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him stop. Love appeared from the rose bush, covering his face with his hands. Between his fingers ran two trickles of blood from his eyes. Madness, so anxious to find Love, had stabbed out Love’s eyes with a pitch fork. “What have I done! What have I done!” Madness shouted. “I have left you blind! How can I repair it?”

And Love answered: “You cannot repair my eyes. But if you want to do something for me, you can be my guide.”

And so it came about that from that day on, Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness.

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